And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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