that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
