you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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