They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
