And the cops told us we were all naked.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize