I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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