I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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