I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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