Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
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he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
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Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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