There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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