he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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