your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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