so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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