marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
