I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she smelled like a LAN party
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
