No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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