If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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