So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
