i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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