I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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