so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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