Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
