can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
