I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
