Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
