WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
