WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
