I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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