it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
