The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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