somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
