I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
