That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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