ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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