The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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