Have you finally orgasmed yet?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
