First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
