its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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