My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
