How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
