So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
This gyro tastes like lonliness
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
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