You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
There's always time for handjobs
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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