are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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