did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
