Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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