I got her a Nickelback box set.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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