lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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