and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
