I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
