I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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