So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
