You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
