so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
