They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
