For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
