WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Come see our sink grown plant.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
