I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
