dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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