I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
